Type: A Soliloquy(Monologue).
One time, I wrote on RWC, a Psalm;
Pleading to God to come to my aid.
God never answered me.
However, I’m out of the mess now.
It doesn’t feel serious as I thought it would.
God created a better strategy to help me out too.
But God never answered the way I wanted Him to.
I still paid for the mistakes.
He didn’t come through the way I wanted Him to.
And seeing as I can be a narcisstic daughter of God too,
I wasn’t that contented.
I still don’t think I am contented.
The phase has passed now.
I’m glad I’m finally out of the mess and that God helped me scale through it.
It’s interesting to also know that God answered it His own way, and that it is in fact, favorable too.
You know what’s funny to me though?
It reminds me of the David verse that says, “even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, you shall be with me.”
It means I may find myself there sometimes, but I have no reason to fear because God is with me.
I think why I was majorly angry was because I thought that phase of my life had passed already, and there really was no lesson to learn from it anymore.
For me, it was like if God really knew me, he would know the things that were already vain to me and not, so why is it that I had to be in a phase like that again?
I guess we really don’t think like God.
And He is wiser than everyone and all things.
Yesterday, while we were worshipping God in my school fellowship, I thought to myself, and directly to God too, that far more than all the blessings, I was thanking Him for something I could not really place hands on.
I didn’t know it then but I think it has something to do with the idea of creating me, and seeing me as a creature worthy to even give Him thanks in the first place.
His mightiness, I cannot comprehend. So even when the turn out of things don’t seem to appeal to me. I’m grateful to be a source of praise to God. And it’s honestly not just about having a thankful heart for me.
It is that I know that I cease to exist without God’s idea to create me, with that , I know I’m for Him and Him alone.
The Ayi 